When Things Really Change
A senior executive called me after taking his child to university. "I thought I would enjoy having more free time, especially since I'm close to retiring," he said. "But I keep thinking that really, no one needs me anymore."
When So Much Shifts at Once
We plan for retirement. We prepare for empty nest. But when they arrive together?
The impact multiplies. Even the most prepared professionals get caught off guard. This happens because the way our lives are structured changes dramatically. We don’t need to respond to the needs of our kids in the same ways. Work meetings are no longer the big events of the day.
After we questioned and explored things together, that same executive realised this: "I've been so busy being a parent and a leader that I forgot what was just... me." He was ready to imagine more about himself than being needed. More about himself than being reliable.
It was the beginning of him discovering what was “just him”.
Unexpected Discoveries
It can surprise professionals to learn that the ones who thrive during a double transition aren't those who fill the void fastest. They're the ones who sit with the discomfort of not knowing what’s next long enough to find out what's in the silence.
"It's like I'd been in a loud room for 30 years," one woman explained. "When it finally got quiet, I could hear things I'd been ignoring." Traditional advice about hobbies and travel in retirement misses this completely.
Allowing for a period of time simply to listen and DISCOVER during big transitions isn't about filling time—it's about finding what's been waiting.
And isn’t it interesting that this opportunity might be occurring just when your child is launching into the world and doing something similar? Finding new ways of thinking about themselves?
What Matters Now
Facing more than one major life change is usually disorienting. But rest assured, that's not a bad thing. You are in remarkable territory during one of the few times in life when possibilities can be prioritised.
Asking "How do I fill this void?" can neglect things that matter more than you realised.
Try this instead: "What can emerge in this new-found space?"
Ready to go further?
These resources offer valuable perspectives, but nothing replaces a thoughtful conversation about your specific situation.
Have a resource that's helped you? I'd love to hear about it. Drop me an EMAIL.
Photo courtesy of Frederik Löwer.